Reviews Un cazador de zombis (2008 Video)

Reviews Un cazador de zombis (2008 Video)
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This is really down there with the worst of the worst. There were just so many things to take you out of the movie, and everything else was so weak that the numerous bad aspects stood out like my dad on Viagra. Now, I don’t mind no-budget zombie flicks; in fact I watch all of ’em that I can and have found some real diamonds in the rough.. but if I didn’t have to write a review for it I would’ve turned it off, or, at least “watch” it while doing something else. But I hunkered down and sucked it up.

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The story: Toro gets paid by the Catholic church to kill zombies. A video crops up of him doing nasty things to little boys, and the church is forced to fire him. Toro then goes on a binge of sin and moves to the jungle to get away from society. His replacement quickly gets gobbled up by the zombies, and Toro’s old army buddy finds and injects him with some super-drug that makes him a badass zombie hunter once again.

I’m going to get the positive things out of the way right now: it was introduced by Lloyd Kaufmann, there’s a couple pairs of bare well-shaped natural breasts, and the “Apocolypse Now” part of the “Zombie Apocalypse Now” title is exactly the same as the original Apocalypse Now – I thought that was neat.

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Now then… I hate to dog on a movie that I got for free from a stranger, but this movie leaves me little choice. I don’t even know where to start.

From the very beginning the whole thing smacked of amateur, and not in a cute kind of YouTube way. The movie tried to be gross and/or offensive, but, just, failed.. hard. The obviously gratuitous torture scenes came off as silly rather than shocking, since you really need it to look real to be effective, and the special effects fall short (like, the length of Grand Canyon short). The filmmakers need to learn to work within their limitations. The zombies are never explained in any way. It seems like a normal society in which we currently live in, just with an odd zombie cropping up here or there with no bearing on the goings-on of day-to-day living. More background would’ve fleshed out the story a little at least.

Speaking of the actual zombies, the make-up was absolutely horrible. Some actors were just smeared with green paint, while others wore (what really did look like) paper mache masks, while still others just had bits of artificial skin (I guess?) hanging off their cheek. There was four or five scenes where zombies do the classic “pull guts out of victim while victim lies on the ground,” and those looked only a little sub-par for a micro-budget zombie flick.

The camera-work and editing was just lazy. In nearly every inside scene there were huge shadows cast on everything from an obviously unnatural light source. During the stripping scene, the camera pans a little too far to the right and we see she’s dancing in front of a blanket hanging on the wall. Also, for seemingly no reason, there was footage of a zombie walk thrown in that had no bearing on the story at all. There wasn’t even the slightest attempt to work it into the story. (Incidentally, many of the zombies on that walk had better make-up than the zombies in this film.) One more example: the movie keeps going for two full minutes after the credits stop rolling (so we’re staring at a black screen) just to let the song play out.

Sound was equally bad. Many times the sound effects (puking, sawing, punching) were noticeably louder than the recorded sound and, again, came off as silly and repetitive. The soundtrack was the same monotonous guitar variation over and over, but luckily it only got annoying a few times.

All in all, I’m glad I watched it once, to satiate my curiosity, but this particular disc will never again be played in any DVD player. If you want an enjoyable zombie flick from Argentina, check out Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone instead.


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